Blargh Blog

Thursday, September 16, 2004

Escaping the gated community

One of the saddest consequences of the Nixon Administration's disregard for the law and the democratic process is the proliferation of -gate-suffixed scandals in the years that have followed. Even the damage that is being inflicted on our language by these scandals is unbearable. Why, this year alone there have been TWO 'Memogate's, the latest pitting the blogosphere against its greatest enemy yet, Dan Rather, via an amateur investigation into the formatting of 1970s typewriters.

We cannot go on like this. As that one song said, how many gates must something something something before something something something something? Well it is time to take a stand: the gates must go!

But if we abandon this vital part of our American Dictionary, what will we do when we want to make something sound like a Big Important Political Scandal? The answer is simple: reach a bit deeper into that wonderful sack of words that is American history.

Ladies and gentlemen, let me reintroduce you to the latest Washington scandal, in its new and improved form: Memodome. With a name that sounds both modern and reminiscent of the days of Warren G. Harding, Memodome is sure to attract the attention of the people out in Blogland, the Mainstream Media, and all those Ordinary Folks who are just looking for the right "Scandal Product" to notice and "consume" via outrage.

This new product is not only a true original, it also creates a brand image and introduces a whole line of -dome products that are in development, pending future scandals, semiscandals, and pseudoscandals. But if you still have any doubts about Memodome's superiority to Memogate, just try them on one more time, forwards and backwards. "Memogate" - stale and grating. "Memodome" - new, fresh, bubbly, and exciting. "Etagomem" - what the hell is that? But "EmoDomeM" - why that sounds like the 13th dome filled with Emo Kids! And you know that it was meant to be, because both forwards and backwards, it's full of dome-y goodness.

Memodome - it's still about all that important stuff, like incompetence at a major media network, 1970s typesetting, Dan Rather's political bias, the awesome power of blogs, and the fact that these forged memos sounded plausible enough to the Bush Administration for them to pass them along without comment. But now it's got a great new name!

Update: It looks like the name of choice has been shifting towards Rathergate, or, for the typographically clever, Rathergate. A new scandal has broken in Washington, and this time it's personal. But don't get too comfortable with this hep new title, because backwards, it's a mouthful. Etagrehtar?


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